Mom, I Have Something to Tell You
is a documentary in progress about the special bond between gay sons and their mothers.
Many people have wondered…
…about the nature of a mother’s influence on her son, especially her gay son. We’ve seen many people “blame” the mom, especially in communities that reject LGBTQ values.
But what we’ve also been seeing is the amazing strength that gay men are able to draw from their mothers’ acceptance, support, and love! Over the past few years we’ve conducted interview after interview seeing these mothers demonstrate their intuitive love for their sons, and the sons’ subsequent well-being and mental health.
People who see these interviews have had their lives changed. Educating through stories is extremely effective.
But we can only visit so many organizations, conferences, and institutions. And that’s why we’re making a documentary about our work, a documentary that will travel far widely than we personally ever could. It’s an important project… and we need your help!
Why it matters
Parents sometimes worry about their gay sons being physically assaulted. A mother may even fear her son might end his own life.
Some families make fun of their closeness to their mothers. Some have had to break from their families for self-preservation.
A gay man’s level of life satisfaction is profoundly impacted by the acceptance and support he receives (or does not) from his mother.
Where we are
$28,245 of $38,500 funded
49 contributors
We can finish this documentary… with your help!
We have an amazing team here at Gay Sons & Mothers, but we can’t do it alone. We’ve created the remarkable trailer you saw at the top of this page, and we’re working hard to get an international-awards-level film made.
But it costs more money than our small nonprofit can manage from our modest budget. This is where you come in! Take a moment to learn about the process at right, or just hit the button now to give us a hand.
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In deciding how to film this documentary, we’ve chosen to share what best supports the story we’re telling. We know we’ve got it right… but it takes time (and a lot of outtakes!) to put it together.
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Soundtracks help determine both mood and tone, so are stylistically important—but choosing music also involves nitty-gritty details like rights and/or finding royalty-free music and integrating it into the film during pos-production.
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Editing is like putting a puzzle together! It involves watching the footage, arranging it to best tell our story, and importing elements into our editing software. We look to convey the most powerful moments by taking sub-themes and pulling them together into a coherent whole.
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Showcasing and amplifying our documentary through competitions, film festivals, and distribution agencies is the only way for it to impact audiences. The cost of “selling” it is significant and we are still researching where we will get the most traction.
A quick look at our research
Overcoming Homophobia
Several mothers possessed an intrinsic sense of how to support their son and were able to favor their own intuition over external pressures—such as religious or family beliefs that dictated homophobia.
Love & Understanding
Many mothers were able to accommodate their son’s personalities even before understanding he was gay. These mothers were attuned to him for being different, and chose to support and protect them.
Gratitude & Support
Sons expressed gratitude for allowing them to enjoy chosen activities without expectations of change. Her ability and support shown in allowing him to engage in interests that weren’t stereotypically masculine was viewed as lifesaving
Meet the team
Rick Miller, LICSW
Executive producer and director
Holds an MSW from Simmons School of Social Work and is the founder and executive director of Gay Sons & Mothers as well as maintaining a private practice.
Eli Harrigan
Editor and producer
Holds a BA from Amherst College and is a video editor and motion graphics animator with Dropping Down Productions.
Devin Cannon
Story supervisor and producer
Holds a BFA from The New School and is an artistic consultant, script supervisor, and director with Dropping Down Productions.
Richard Goulis
Videographer and producer
Holds a BFA from the Rhode Island School of Design and is an exhibiting visual and performing artist.
A message from our founder
Homophobia exists in part because of fear, the fear people have of something or someone they don’t understand, fear of what’s known as the “other,” someone not like them. This is sadly still experienced every day by members of the LGBTQ+ community.
But what if we could show that the “other” is really someone real, someone with a family and a life-trajectory and likes and dislikes and all the same issues and joys as them? We’d be a lot closer to a better world for everyone.
I have seen the way these stories can change people’s attitudes and understanding, and that’s given me a hunger to reach out to even more people.
That’s what this film is about, and that’s why I’m asking you to help support us in our mission to support others. Please give as generously as you can.
Yours in gratitude,
Rick Miller, LICSW
Please help make this film a reality by donating today!
All donors will have their names on the film and a grateful shout-out in social media. You may donate by check made out to Gay Sons and Mothers and send to Rick Miller, PO Box 1187, Truro, MA 02666.
